Question:
My family is mostly french (probably a 90/10 split) as well as his (85/15 split). We both want to have a bilingual wedding to accomodate mostly our parents. I’ve had an idea for a while, but I was wondering if it was tacky. Would it be OK if our vows were split — I’d say my vows in French, and he’d say his in English? same for the readings — one french, one english? Would doing it that way be too complicated? I guess it may help if I told you he’s english, and I’m French. just wondering what you think…(when you reply by posting, could you please send me a copy by e-mail? thanks) OH! one more thing….anyelse in here French? I’m looking for french vows and readings…I know the priest can probably help me….but I’m looking for on-line stuff so I can get ideas….does any french bride (or groom) have any URLs to french wedding sites? they would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Nathalie (and Rickey) No date set yet….hopefully July 1, 2000 http://members.xoom.com/Nataly No date set yet….hopefully July 1, 2000 http://members.xoom.com/Nataly
Response:
> Would it be OK if our vows were split — I’d say my vows in French, and he’d > say his in English? same for the readings — one french, one english? Would > doing it that way be too complicated? I guess it may help if I told you he’s > english, and I’m French.
There is nothing tacky about saying your wedding vows in your native language. For the comfort of your guests, use a wedding program and print the entire ceremony, including readings, in both languages. That way people who don’t understand one language can follow along in the other and feel included. If your mention of "priest" = "Catholic", you need to talk to him before planning too much, as there is a limited amount of flexibility in the format of the ceremony. Among other things, you would have to deal with three Bible readings and a responsorial psalm rather than two readings from anywhere; writing your own vows is not forbidden but it’s not always encouraged. For a bilingual Catholic ceremony, you simply need whatever French translation of the Bible is approved for use in the liturgy. If "priest" = "Anglican", you still need to talk to him ASAP, as there are specific formats used for an Anglican ceremony, too. Have fun! Wende
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As a professional photographer of the past twenty years in the Boston/Providence area, I have photographed many bilingual weddings. Mostly Portuguese or Spanish and English. However, my ability to speak French has come in handy many times! I am always surprised at how many people prefer to speak in a language other than English. Yes, what you have suggested in sharing bilingual vows is accepatable and very appropriate. You might even get the priest involved in speaking in both languages . I’ve seen that done and his efforts are always much appreciated by the guests. As for the exact wording of the vows, ask the priest. However, what you are doing is so special and person that you should feel comfortable writing your own vows! Best of luck!
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We’re doing a bilingual ceremony — in a language neither of us knows!! Our vows will be in Hebrew, but we’ll repeat everything in English, so that everyone else will know what we said. We’ll have to memorize the Hebrew phrasing in the first place; my Hebrew is mediocre at best and Manny’s is worse! -Naomi — "I read ‘no law abridging’ to mean NO LAW ABRIDGING." Justice Hugo Black, U.S. Supreme Court
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Nathalie, I used to belong to a Catholic church with a large Hispanic population. Holy Day masses were always bilingual, and this is what I noticed: 1) Whenever the reading was read in English, the program would print out the translation in Spanish, and vice versa. Therefore, if the churchgoers couldn’t understand what was being said, they could at least read it in the program. 2) The homily was dealt with in two ways. Either there would be two short homilies, one for each language, or somebody would translate the homily as the priest went along. 3) Don’t forget the music!!! Make the effort to have a little bit of each language represented in the hymns. People grumbled a bit whenever one language was favoured over the other. Hope this helps. Limarie
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >: Hi, >: I am French and my american girlfriend and I want to get married >: eventually. We are Catholic and wish to have our Wedding been held in a >: church. >: But one of our main concern is that our respective relative don’t >: speak and understand the other languague ! So we are looking for a way >: that will content the both families despite this huge problem. >: I will be very glad to hear any advice on this subject, especially if >: you have been in a similar case already ( wedding in two languages, >: abroad … ).
You should print up wedding programs that have the translation of the ceremony in it so people can keep up. I had a Jewish wedding in which many of my guests were not at all familiar with the customs. I printed up programs that explained all of the symbolism and people thanked me for doing so and thanked me for showing them a different yet beautiful ceremony. Trust me, you would rather have them reading a program then dying out of boredom because they don’t understand. — I might be on the Information Superhighway, but I’m using a Schwinn!
Response:
: Hi, : I am French and my american girlfriend and I want to get married : eventually. We are Catholic and wish to have our Wedding been held in a : church. : But one of our main concern is that our respective relative don’t : speak and understand the other languague ! So we are looking for a way : that will content the both families despite this huge problem. : I will be very glad to hear any advice on this subject, especially if : you have been in a similar case already ( wedding in two languages, : abroad … ). Phillipe: I am a minister of the United Church of Canada who has done bilingual weddings over the years. In my experience, there is sufficient comon ground in both Roman Catholic and most other religious services that it transcends language differences. I have usually included prayers and scripture readings in one language or the other and done the vows in the language of the couple’s choice. It is great fun and deeply appreciated by both families. Your biggest challenge will be to find a bilingual American person to do your wedding <g>. Regards,
Response:
>I am French and my american girlfriend and I want to get married >eventually. We are Catholic and wish to have our Wedding been held in a >church. >But one of our main concern is that our respective relative don’t >speak and understand the other languague ! So we are looking for a way >that will content the both families despite this huge problem. >I will be very glad to hear any advice on this subject, especially if >you have been in a similar case already ( wedding in two languages, >abroad … ).
In addition to alternating or using both French and English for parts of the ceremony, why not have much of the Mass done in Latin (it doesn’t have to be the pre-Vatican II rite)? That might be a compromise acceptable to most, and would have the benefit of emphasizing that as the Church is not separated by national boundaries, neither will your marriage be. – – – – – – – – – – Steve Creps, Indiana University
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hi, >I am French and my american girlfriend and I want to get married >eventually. We are Catholic and wish to have our Wedding been held in a >church. >But one of our main concern is that our respective relative don’t >speak and understand the other languague ! So we are looking for a way >that will content the both families despite this huge problem. >I will be very glad to hear any advice on this subject, especially if >you have been in a similar case already ( wedding in two languages, >abroad … ). >Sincerely Philippe.
Go to Montreal! It’s the perfect place for a bilingual English-French wedding. There are beautiful old Catholic churches in the Old Montreal area–ranging from huge (Notre Dame) to small and quaint. You could call the Quebec Ministry of Tourism or the city government of Montreal. It’s a gorgeous place and it has just the languages to suit both of your families. And it’s really not so far away. Just a thought– Laura
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PC> I am French and my american girlfriend and I want to get married PC> eventually. We are Catholic and wish to have our Wedding been held in PC> a church. PC> But one of our main concern is that our respective relative don’t PC> speak and understand the other languague ! I have done weddings in the US where both families spoke other languages. This is a barrier to communication, underestimated by many. There is a huge potential for mis-understandings about cultural differences. Many of our deepest customs come out at weddings, and some tend to forget that these are not universal customs, but uniquely different for the two families. What is considered necessary good fun by one, can be offensive to the other. Without the ability to talk about this, hurt feelings can get out of hand. Ettiquette is a secret system of expectations a culture has. It would be wonderful if your engagement parties could discuss the ettiquette culture/wedding traditions of the other family & culture along the way so there are no surprises at the wedding. Try very hard to have a working wedding party of bilingual translators. The wedding couple may find they do fine at the job of translators of language/culture in small groups before the wedding, but on the day of the wedding, they are indesposed, so it is imperative to have others trained and responsible for this duty. It may even be useful to have get togethers where picture alblums are gone over to look at and discuss how the weddings in the two families compare (all along pointing out which customs you are incorporating into your wedding). Prepare a script of your wedding day with timed schedule, activity, and who’s in charge, who’s invited etc. Don’t make broken expectations a real time event. Those who want to do "surprises" will do their best to undue any such preparedness you attempt. Be in dialogue with your attendants and discuss your desired "experience" and get their assistance. Good Luck. Don Pastor ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12
Response:
>I am French and my american girlfriend and I want to get married >eventually. We are Catholic and wish to have our Wedding been held in a >church. >But one of our main concern is that our respective relative don’t >speak and understand the other languague ! So we are looking for a way >that will content the both families despite this huge problem.
I think simultaneous interpretation would probably be rather confusing for the whole ceremony, so I’d try to figure out some other way. The best thing I can come up with at the moment would be this: Make wedding programs with the *full* text of the ceremony in *both* languages (perhaps on facing pages). That way, people can follow what is being said and done regardless of the language they speak. (I suspect most could keep track of the progress through the ceremony with the text in both languages even if they didn’t speak the other language. I don’t speak French, but I’m sure I could hear and recognize enough to keep my place with both the French and English text in front of me.) I would probably also try to arrange that each of you said your vows in your native language, or that you both said your vows in *both* languages. In many ways, the vows are the very heart of the ceremony. I suspect that if you do this, there will be a sense by both sides of the family that they heard and understood the important parts (and that concessions were made to make them feel more included in the event). Having a good amount of music might be nice. I know if I were sitting in a church listening to a long ceremony in a language I didn’t understand I might find myself getting lost or bored at times. But everyone can relate to music! So, if you broke up the spoken parts of the ceremony with music, there would be little interludes for everyone to regroup, rest their brains, and all feel equally included. Hope this helps, Ericka
Response:
Hi, I am French and my american girlfriend and I want to get married eventually. We are Catholic and wish to have our Wedding been held in a church. But one of our main concern is that our respective relative don’t speak and understand the other languague ! So we are looking for a way that will content the both families despite this huge problem. I will be very glad to hear any advice on this subject, especially if you have been in a similar case already ( wedding in two languages, abroad … ). Sincerely Philippe.
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