Overreaction to 5 yo suggestive dance/song?

About Religion » Christian FAQ » Overreaction to 5 yo suggestive dance/song?

Question:

"Are you nuts? You told a 5 year old that HER behavior would cause someone to touch her private parts?" Hey, Grandma….who’s nuts here? Yes! Certain behaviors by people DO cause other people to touch their private parts. You never heard of that before? And don’t you think children, especially girl-children, should start learning that fact of life as they are growing up? That way….they will be better able to elicit actions from people that they want….and better able to avoid actions that they don’t want. Or do you prefer them to remain ignorant?

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Just LISTEN to all this bullshit entrenched antisexuality! > We have "appropriate" "suggestive" "not nice" "cheap"! All words for sex > that somebody doesn’t like. How obnoxious and backward. > I’d never be caught dead using those words to mean that, to me it would > be reprehensible!! I think it IS "appropriate" for kids to know about > sex and experiment with sex and enjoy sex. No one needs to "suggest" sex > to me, I’m already prepared to enjoy anything sexual which I see or can > participate in. Sex between children is not merely "nice" it is a joy > beyond compare, and even with adults it’s pretty fucking good, and just > because one gives themself freely to others doesn’t make free/"cheap" a > bad thing at all! > How obnoxious! The antisexual bastards can’t really think of anything > BAD they can assert about sex without being soundly contradicted by > anyone with a mind, so they think up these stupid deniable euphemisms > that act as codewords for their brand of pig-ignorant stupidity!! > Steve > I’m not surprised that a father who thinks it is appropriate to fondle his > daughter’s scantily clad rump and ask her if she is planning to ‘pull a > train’ tonight

She thought it was very funny!! Of course she actually does "pull trains", not more than 6 she says, but she says she has. > would find common decency repressive. LOL.

Listen, another bullshit antisexual codeword!!: "decent". Without the antisexual crap in this culture the word "decent" should speak to the quality of something, and he thinks that his antisexual repression is "common decency", what horseshit!!! To me your version of "decency" is indecent!! Steve

Response:

> > Just LISTEN to all this bullshit entrenched antisexuality! > We have "appropriate" "suggestive" "not nice" "cheap"! All words for sex > that somebody doesn’t like. How obnoxious and backward. > I’d never be caught dead using those words to mean that, to me it would > be reprehensible!! I think it IS "appropriate" for kids to know about > sex and experiment with sex and enjoy sex. > I think kids should be informed about sex when they’re old enough…and > that is up to the parents.

Keeping them in the dark about sex all their young life is abusive!!! We didn’t HAVE to TELL our kids, they saw sex almost once a day from the time they were babies. They believed that everybody’s parents did that till they were close to 5 and the first time we tried to tell my son otherwise he didn’t fucking believe it!! He thought I was leading him on as I often did to teach him things. It took most of an afternoon to convince him! > To suggest it is appropriate for a couple of > five year olds to take off their clothes and touch each other and > pretend like they’re doing the deed is wrong.

No it isn’t, it’s RIGHT!!! They do that, and they like it, and it is NOT "pretending" anything. They do what they like to do. Fuck your damned antisexuality right in the asshole!! > Then you have 12 year old > parents running around the neighborhood. Sex needs discussed, sure, I > agree, but there is a TIME and place for it.

Nope, quite the opposite. Among LOTS of kids raised around sex and taught about it I know of NO unwanted pregnancies! In fact the kids MOST likely to wind up pregnant at 12 are the kids who never learned about it!! >No one needs to "suggest" sex > to me, I’m already prepared to enjoy anything sexual which I see or can > participate in. Sex between children is not merely "nice" it is a joy > beyond compare, and even with adults it’s pretty fucking good, and just > because one gives themself freely to others doesn’t make free/"cheap" a > bad thing at all! > This scares me a bit. I hope you mean sex among children and only > children; adults among adults and only adults. It sounds like you enjoy > having sex with children and adults are…you know…OK. That sounded > sick, so I hope that’s not what you were saying. Because, I’m sorry, > but sex between an adult and a child is WRONG. Be-it society-induced > morals or not…it’s wrong.

Nope, not if the child desires it. The adult who does not exert control over a child is, to the child, just another child. Among the people I know who are sexually open, the child calls all shots, period. > How obnoxious! The antisexual bastards can’t really think of anything > BAD they can assert about sex without being soundly contradicted by > anyone with a mind, so they think up these stupid deniable euphemisms > that act as codewords for their brand of pig-ignorant stupidity!! > Steve > And, I don’t think it’s stupidity. Parents learn as children learn. > They are rightly being cautious and protective. Children deserve a safe > environment.

And one in which they feel AS free to say NO to ANYTHING as they do to say YES to whatever they like!! Steve

Response:

"Age inappropriate" is just another way of saying "dirty" and trying to get away with being so fucking backward in a modern era. People who think like that at all about sex are truly truly sick. The whole "sex is dirty" mentality is a brain disease. Steve " Easy, Steve, easy. Down Boy! You wouldn’t happen to be one of those pedophile-types, now, would you, by any chance? They’re the ones that are usually so anxious to slutt-ify every toddler and little girl possible, and start getting hysterical when they see it’s not working. Maybe not. Maybe you just came from a real abusive home when you had normal sex-questions or child-behaviour. Fortunately, most of that scarey stuff has been long-gone for most enlightened parents these days….and I think the poster handled it beautifully. Perfectly, in fact. I do see one pedophile or pedophile-supporter here, though. It’s Free Spirit. Best, G22

Response:

The point is that a child sees it as dancing…and nothing more. At 5, I don’t think she was trying to be sexy "like Brittany Spears." It is fun to her and I just don’t see anything wrong with a child dancing. I’m not saying a parent doens’t have the right to tell their children what they think, but in this instance it was *my* opinion that she overreacted, which is what she asked for…opinions. I think it is virtually impossible for a 5yo to be "cheap" in any sense. Most of them don’t know what it is. I’m not sure that is isn’t nice when a child dances. Dancing is, after all, moving your butt and hips, along with feet and arms…and if you’re really into it, your head starts a-goin’ too. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I think that your daughter didn’t know anything was wrong with it until > you told her. I mean, I doubt she knew it had any meaning, moving her > butt and hips is just dance. You told her what it meant. To answer > your question, I think you overreacted just a bit. Now, if she started > taking off her clothes, I would say you should’ve had that > conversation. But it’s just cute to see little kids trying to dance. > When I was little, me and my friends used to put on shows for our > parents of all the MTV dances. Perhaps they weren’t age-appropriate, > but we didn’t know that at the time and no one told us. We never > believed we were doing something "dirty." We figured it out when we > were older. Perhaps your daughter will be cautious when she’s learning > a new dance? I mean, she may be worried that you will disapprove of her > dances. I don’t know…hope it helps a little. How about teaching her > a dance you know? :) > how will they know appropriate behavior if their parents don’t raise them? > it seems odd to think that it is okay for kids to learn suggestive dances > from TV or peers — but not okay for parents to let them know the behavior > isn’t > nice > since there is so much media and peer support for cheap behavior, dress > etc — if parents want different values, they better not be laissez faire > about letting their kids do whatever the street teaches them

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I think that your daughter didn’t know anything was wrong with it until > you told her. I mean, I doubt she knew it had any meaning, moving her > butt and hips is just dance. You told her what it meant. To answer > your question, I think you overreacted just a bit. Now, if she started > taking off her clothes, I would say you should’ve had that > conversation. But it’s just cute to see little kids trying to dance. > When I was little, me and my friends used to put on shows for our > parents of all the MTV dances. Perhaps they weren’t age-appropriate, > but we didn’t know that at the time and no one told us. We never > believed we were doing something "dirty." We figured it out when we > were older. Perhaps your daughter will be cautious when she’s learning > a new dance? I mean, she may be worried that you will disapprove of her > dances. I don’t know…hope it helps a little. How about teaching her > a dance you know? :) > how will they know appropriate behavior if their parents don’t raise them? > it seems odd to think that it is okay for kids to learn suggestive dances > from TV or peers — but not okay for parents to let them know the behavior > isn’t > nice > since there is so much media and peer support for cheap behavior, dress > etc — if parents want different values, they better not be laissez faire > about letting their kids do whatever the street teaches them

Just LISTEN to all this bullshit entrenched antisexuality! We have "appropriate" "suggestive" "not nice" "cheap"! All words for sex that somebody doesn’t like. How obnoxious and backward. I’d never be caught dead using those words to mean that, to me it would be reprehensible!! I think it IS "appropriate" for kids to know about sex and experiment with sex and enjoy sex. No one needs to "suggest" sex to me, I’m already prepared to enjoy anything sexual which I see or can participate in. Sex between children is not merely "nice" it is a joy beyond compare, and even with adults it’s pretty fucking good, and just because one gives themself freely to others doesn’t make free/"cheap" a bad thing at all! How obnoxious! The antisexual bastards can’t really think of anything BAD they can assert about sex without being soundly contradicted by anyone with a mind, so they think up these stupid deniable euphemisms that act as codewords for their brand of pig-ignorant stupidity!! Steve

Response:

> I think that your daughter didn’t know anything was wrong with it until > you told her. I mean, I doubt she knew it had any meaning, moving her > butt and hips is just dance. You told her what it meant. To answer > your question, I think you overreacted just a bit. Now, if she started > taking off her clothes, I would say you should’ve had that > conversation. But it’s just cute to see little kids trying to dance. > When I was little, me and my friends used to put on shows for our > parents of all the MTV dances. Perhaps they weren’t age-appropriate, > but we didn’t know that at the time and no one told us. We never > believed we were doing something "dirty." We figured it out when we > were older. Perhaps your daughter will be cautious when she’s learning > a new dance? I mean, she may be worried that you will disapprove of her > dances. I don’t know…hope it helps a little. How about teaching her > a dance you know? :)

how will they know appropriate behavior if their parents don’t raise them? it seems odd to think that it is okay for kids to learn suggestive dances from TV or peers — but not okay for parents to let them know the behavior isn’t nice since there is so much media and peer support for cheap behavior, dress etc — if parents want different values, they better not be laissez faire about letting their kids do whatever the street teaches them

Response:

> Just LISTEN to all this bullshit entrenched antisexuality! > We have "appropriate" "suggestive" "not nice" "cheap"! All words for sex > that somebody doesn’t like. How obnoxious and backward. > I’d never be caught dead using those words to mean that, to me it would > be reprehensible!! I think it IS "appropriate" for kids to know about > sex and experiment with sex and enjoy sex.

I think kids should be informed about sex when they’re old enough…and that is up to the parents. To suggest it is appropriate for a couple of five year olds to take off their clothes and touch each other and pretend like they’re doing the deed is wrong. Then you have 12 year old parents running around the neighborhood. Sex needs discussed, sure, I agree, but there is a TIME and place for it. >No one needs to "suggest" sex > to me, I’m already prepared to enjoy anything sexual which I see or can > participate in. Sex between children is not merely "nice" it is a joy > beyond compare, and even with adults it’s pretty fucking good, and just > because one gives themself freely to others doesn’t make free/"cheap" a > bad thing at all!

This scares me a bit. I hope you mean sex among children and only children; adults among adults and only adults. It sounds like you enjoy having sex with children and adults are…you know…OK. That sounded sick, so I hope that’s not what you were saying. Because, I’m sorry, but sex between an adult and a child is WRONG. Be-it society-induced morals or not…it’s wrong. > How obnoxious! The antisexual bastards can’t really think of anything > BAD they can assert about sex without being soundly contradicted by > anyone with a mind, so they think up these stupid deniable euphemisms > that act as codewords for their brand of pig-ignorant stupidity!! > Steve

And, I don’t think it’s stupidity. Parents learn as children learn. They are rightly being cautious and protective. Children deserve a safe environment.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > I think that your daughter didn’t know anything was wrong with it until > > you told her. I mean, I doubt she knew it had any meaning, moving her > > butt and hips is just dance. You told her what it meant. To answer > > your question, I think you overreacted just a bit. Now, if she started > > taking off her clothes, I would say you should’ve had that > > conversation. But it’s just cute to see little kids trying to dance. > > When I was little, me and my friends used to put on shows for our > > parents of all the MTV dances. Perhaps they weren’t age-appropriate, > > but we didn’t know that at the time and no one told us. We never > > believed we were doing something "dirty." We figured it out when we > > were older. Perhaps your daughter will be cautious when she’s learning > > a new dance? I mean, she may be worried that you will disapprove of her > > dances. I don’t know…hope it helps a little. How about teaching her > > a dance you know? :) > how will they know appropriate behavior if their parents don’t raise them? > it seems odd to think that it is okay for kids to learn suggestive dances > from TV or peers — but not okay for parents to let them know the behavior > isn’t > nice > since there is so much media and peer support for cheap behavior, dress > etc — if parents want different values, they better not be laissez faire > about letting their kids do whatever the street teaches them > Just LISTEN to all this bullshit entrenched antisexuality! > We have "appropriate" "suggestive" "not nice" "cheap"! All words for sex > that somebody doesn’t like. How obnoxious and backward. > I’d never be caught dead using those words to mean that, to me it would > be reprehensible!! I think it IS "appropriate" for kids to know about > sex and experiment with sex and enjoy sex. No one needs to "suggest" sex > to me, I’m already prepared to enjoy anything sexual which I see or can > participate in. Sex between children is not merely "nice" it is a joy > beyond compare, and even with adults it’s pretty fucking good, and just > because one gives themself freely to others doesn’t make free/"cheap" a > bad thing at all! > How obnoxious! The antisexual bastards can’t really think of anything > BAD they can assert about sex without being soundly contradicted by > anyone with a mind, so they think up these stupid deniable euphemisms > that act as codewords for their brand of pig-ignorant stupidity!! > Steve

I’m not surprised that a father who thinks it is appropriate to fondle his daughter’s scantily clad rump and ask her if she is planning to ‘pull a train’ tonight would find common decency repressive. LOL.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->We have 5.5 year old b/g twins and my daughter has caught up with some "dancing" >too again shown to her by the 7 year old next door! Her father and I talked to her >about how we didn’t want her dancing that way for the reason that it gave people >the feeling that she was saying it was ok to touch her private area. She was >surprised and said too she wasn’t interested it that. I want her to know some >things just aren’t appropriate. We also struggle with 2 piece bathing suits (sorry >I think she’s too young or too old – they look very cute on 2 year olds and great >on 15 year olds but not 5 year olds). I don’t even like them watching Britney or >MTV of any kind. We let them listen to the music but think they are way too young >for the rest. JMO >Shirley > Are you nuts? You told a 5 year old that HER behavior would cause > someone to touch her private parts? That is like saying people > deserve to get assualted and raped becase of how they dress.

Nevertheless, it is something adults and older minors know that she perhaps did not. It’s not quite like telling her she was guilty for being attacked or anything, better before than after! And there is a response to sexual dress in this antisexual-sexualized country that she should know about. Kids in OTHER cultures know what shaking your butt means, because they’ve seen it all happen, from the beginning to end in intercourse, but we pretend that we aren’t depriving kids of required and important knowledge by keeping them from the knowledge of sex, which is just really stupid. > The reason anyone would want to touch a 5 year old’s private parts is > because THEY are sick and disturbed.

THAT’S not really true. There is sexual interest in minors both by older minors and by adults that isn’t the weird fixated prepubescent pedophilia that is so peculiar. People in this culture are taught to deny it to others and in themselves, but it’s actually MUCH more prevalent (try normal) than true pedophilia, which is actually fairly rare. > What a horrible guilt trip to lay on an innocent child. Shame on you > both for being so stupid! > Grandma Poopie Pants

It’s crime to make a young child feel guilty about sex, but it’s ALSO a crime to keep a young child ignorant and unexposed to the biggest truth about her species, too, and that’s sex! Steve

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->No, I don’t think you overreacted. I would have done and said the same >things myself. Kids grow up way too fast these days as it is without having >these kind of teens as "role models"…I know, she’s only five, but it’s >never too early to start instilling values in kids, IMO. Ignore it now and >you could end up with a problem later on. >Last week I almost fainted when I saw my 11 yr old SD walk in the house >wearing a *really* skimpy halter top (one of those tight, tube top things >that were popular about 10 yrs ago) > Charlene, sometimes you are such a hypocrite. It is perfectly OK to > call yourself a devote Christian and then shack up with a man and make > out of wedlock babies with him BUT yoou are overly offended by your > step daughter wearing a halter top. > What are you going to do when your little precious dd starts dressing > like that? And what are you going to say to her if at 18 she decides > she is going to move out and shack up with some guy just like dear ol > Mom? > Hmmmmm? > Poopie Pants

Poopie’s got a point, but for the wrong reasons. Charlene’s programmed antisexuality and its contradictions are showing!! When my daughter started wearing brief clothing I simply patted her butt and fondled her, a family tradition practiced both ways in our family, and teased her about them being "train-pulling clothes" and asking how many guys she was going to take on tonight. Of course she’d already had sex at 13, so this was a fair question. She toned it down when she got annoyed by the amount of attention she was getting that didn’t turn out to be very satisfying, and didn’t wear it after that unless she was really horny. ;-> Steve

Response:

>We have 5.5 year old b/g twins and my daughter has caught up with some "dancing" >too again shown to her by the 7 year old next door! Her father and I talked to her >about how we didn’t want her dancing that way for the reason that it gave people >the feeling that she was saying it was ok to touch her private area. She was >surprised and said too she wasn’t interested it that. I want her to know some >things just aren’t appropriate. We also struggle with 2 piece bathing suits (sorry >I think she’s too young or too old – they look very cute on 2 year olds and great >on 15 year olds but not 5 year olds). I don’t even like them watching Britney or >MTV of any kind. We let them listen to the music but think they are way too young >for the rest. JMO >Shirley

Are you nuts? You told a 5 year old that HER behavior would cause someone to touch her private parts? That is like saying people deserve to get assualted and raped becase of how they dress. The reason anyone would want to touch a 5 year old’s private parts is because THEY are sick and disturbed. What a horrible guilt trip to lay on an innocent child. Shame on you both for being so stupid! Grandma Poopie Pants

Response:

>No, I don’t think you overreacted. I would have done and said the same >things myself. Kids grow up way too fast these days as it is without having >these kind of teens as "role models"…I know, she’s only five, but it’s >never too early to start instilling values in kids, IMO. Ignore it now and >you could end up with a problem later on. >Last week I almost fainted when I saw my 11 yr old SD walk in the house >wearing a *really* skimpy halter top (one of those tight, tube top things >that were popular about 10 yrs ago)

Charlene, sometimes you are such a hypocrite. It is perfectly OK to call yourself a devote Christian and then shack up with a man and make out of wedlock babies with him BUT yoou are overly offended by your step daughter wearing a halter top. What are you going to do when your little precious dd starts dressing like that? And what are you going to say to her if at 18 she decides she is going to move out and shack up with some guy just like dear ol Mom? Hmmmmm? Poopie Pants

Response:

Susan, I am with you 100%. You didn’t tell her not to sing the song, or do the dance, you explained how some people feel about the singer she was immitating. That’s called steering her toward the values you want to teach her. My 5 yr old has a wonderful memory for song lyrics, however she doesn’t always grasp the "adult" meaning of some songs, which is fine with me. I let her sing along with the radio and we make up our own dances (no MTV or VH1 in our house.) Both Hailey 5 yrs, and Regan 2.5 yrs, shake their hips when they dance, but it’s just how the music makes them want to move. That is totally different then if they were immitating the grinding motions some of the videos show. As for the clothes issue that freespirit brought but, I let my daughters choose their own clothes, but I get finale veto power. As my husband says, our daughters will not dress out of the JSD (jr slut department). I usually find a way to steer them in a different direction by finding something else that is more appropiate and raving about the pattern, style, color or something. So far there have been no major problems over clothes, and I haven’t had to say a flat out "NO," but I know the day will someday arrive that I have to do it. That’s part of my job as a parent. What we have to remind of kids is that their style of dress, grooming, and even movement (walking, dancing, sitting) gives people who see them an impression, right or wrong, of what kind of person they are. My parents often asked me, what are you trying to say with that outfit? Look at me? I mean business? I’m here to party? or even I’m easy? The theory that a person should be able to walk down the street naked with out causing a fuss (or getting attacked) is a great theory, but it is not reality. I think you handled it just fine. Liz

Response:

You can talk with her if you want on what it means – but don’t tell her not to do it. Let her make he own decisions – and support them. > Last week I almost fainted when I saw my 11 yr old SD walk in the house > wearing a *really* skimpy halter top (one of those tight, tube top things > that were popular about 10 yrs ago) that was given to her by her mother > (thanks, Mom!) and she had it pulled down low and rolled up on the bottom, > so it was just barely covering her. And then she had on a really tight, > short skirt. Her dad and I had a talk with her that night about why we think > it’s wrong to dress that way at any age, let alone when you’re only THAT

age Let her express herself. Poor kid – you don’t even let her dress herself. That is oppressive. You are making a big thing out of nothing. Bet soon it will become very tempting for her to find out what all those forbidden things are really about. Give the kids untainted information as objective as possible – make sure they have all the facts and let them make their own decisions. How is she going to learn how to make good decisions if you don’t let her. My dd is 4. All the outfits she has – except presents – she picked out herself. Never would think on forcing one upon her or denying one. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> (not even in puberty yet!) I don’t think she was wearing it to be "sexy" or > anything, I think it was the influence of a 10 year old friend she has. > Since this girl was 7 she’s been dressing and acting like a spice girl, and > I get the impression that her mom thinks it’s cute. (who else would be > buying her these clothes?) She’s been dressing fine ever since, thankfully. > I just hope it stays that way! Tomorrow she goes to stay with her mom for > three weeks in another city, so I’m already a bit nervous about some bad > habits she may pick up there. > ANYWAY, (I digress) while she’s still at the age where you have some say in > the way she dresses, the music she listens to, the type of dancing that she > does (because she still is at the age where she wants to impress mommy, and > values your opinion!) I say that you let her know what you do consider to be > appropriate and non-appropriate. That will give her a foundation to grow on.

Wrong. Do not tell a 5 year old what to wear and what music to listen to. Are you for censorship and restricting thought. Let them grow up in guided freedom – Give them the capability to make decisions and the self confidence to rely on themselves. > Good luck! > — > ….Charlene > SD Kaitlin (11) BD Danielle (7) BS James (1.5) > ??? T.B.A. (Nov/00)

– Free Spirit Founding Father of the Church of Personal Freedom First Knight of the Knights of Personal Freedom.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I think that your daughter didn’t know anything was wrong with it until > you told her. I mean, I doubt she knew it had any meaning, moving her > butt and hips is just dance. You told her what it meant. To answer > your question, I think you overreacted just a bit. Now, if she started > taking off her clothes, I would say you should’ve had that > conversation. But it’s just cute to see little kids trying to dance. > When I was little, me and my friends used to put on shows for our > parents of all the MTV dances. Perhaps they weren’t age-appropriate, > but we didn’t know that at the time and no one told us. We never > believed we were doing something "dirty." We figured it out when we > were older. Perhaps your daughter will be cautious when she’s learning > a new dance? I mean, she may be worried that you will disapprove of her > dances. I don’t know…hope it helps a little. How about teaching her > a dance you know? :)

"Age inappropriate" is just another way of saying "dirty" and trying to get away with being so fucking backward in a modern era. People who think like that at all about sex are truly truly sick. The whole "sex is dirty" mentality is a brain disease. Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Yesterday my five year old daughter asked me if I wanted to see a new dance she > had learned from her seven year old cousin (a very sweet, innocent child). I > said ok and expected to see some cute routine from Mary Kate and Ashley or > something like that. Instead, my daughter sang a verse from "I’m Not That > Innocent" by Brittney Spears (or Christina Aguilera?) with the hip motion, arms > crossing the chest motion and butt movement. I just don’t think a five year old > needs to be learning suggestive movements and singing songs like this at her > age. I am pretty honest with my daughter and I told her that the singer is a > person that wears very tight outfits and low shirts and likes to show herself > off. Some people even find her a little offensive for teenagers, as she is > likened to a role model. My daughter accepted this and said she didn’t want to > do that kind of dance then. Have I overreacted? I know this was all done in > innocence but isn’t this a little too young to be exposed to this kind of > sexual innuendo with the singing and dancing. A girl her age, just going into > kindergarten, should be playing Mary Kate and Ashley, and Barbies, not > practicing hip swiveling and butt shaking. Am I wrong? I won’t raise her to > feel like a prude or anxious about her sexuality but I feel some things should > remain age appropriate. If you ask me what I’m going to do when she’s a > teenager: Hopefully by then she will have a solid foundation and will make the > appropriate decisions as to dress, friends, etc. She will understand the > controversy of these songs, etc, as well. But at five years old, I just find it > inappropriate,since she doesn’t even know what’s behind these "dance steps" > even if just for fun. > What are your thoughts? > Thanks, > susan

Response:

I think that your daughter didn’t know anything was wrong with it until you told her. I mean, I doubt she knew it had any meaning, moving her butt and hips is just dance. You told her what it meant. To answer your question, I think you overreacted just a bit. Now, if she started taking off her clothes, I would say you should’ve had that conversation. But it’s just cute to see little kids trying to dance. When I was little, me and my friends used to put on shows for our parents of all the MTV dances. Perhaps they weren’t age-appropriate, but we didn’t know that at the time and no one told us. We never believed we were doing something "dirty." We figured it out when we were older. Perhaps your daughter will be cautious when she’s learning a new dance? I mean, she may be worried that you will disapprove of her dances. I don’t know…hope it helps a little. How about teaching her a dance you know? :) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Yesterday my five year old daughter asked me if I wanted to see a new dance she > had learned from her seven year old cousin (a very sweet, innocent child). I > said ok and expected to see some cute routine from Mary Kate and Ashley or > something like that. Instead, my daughter sang a verse from "I’m Not That > Innocent" by Brittney Spears (or Christina Aguilera?) with the hip motion, arms > crossing the chest motion and butt movement. I just don’t think a five year old > needs to be learning suggestive movements and singing songs like this at her > age. I am pretty honest with my daughter and I told her that the singer is a > person that wears very tight outfits and low shirts and likes to show herself > off. Some people even find her a little offensive for teenagers, as she is > likened to a role model. My daughter accepted this and said she didn’t want to > do that kind of dance then. Have I overreacted? I know this was all done in > innocence but isn’t this a little too young to be exposed to this kind of > sexual innuendo with the singing and dancing. A girl her age, just going into > kindergarten, should be playing Mary Kate and Ashley, and Barbies, not > practicing hip swiveling and butt shaking. Am I wrong? I won’t raise her to > feel like a prude or anxious about her sexuality but I feel some things should > remain age appropriate. If you ask me what I’m going to do when she’s a > teenager: Hopefully by then she will have a solid foundation and will make the > appropriate decisions as to dress, friends, etc. She will understand the > controversy of these songs, etc, as well. But at five years old, I just find it > inappropriate,since she doesn’t even know what’s behind these "dance steps" > even if just for fun. > What are your thoughts? > Thanks, > susan

Response:

Kids learn what they see. So is she watching Barney, or Brittney?

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Yesterday my five year old daughter asked me if I wanted to see a new dance she > had learned from her seven year old cousin (a very sweet, innocent child). I > said ok and expected to see some cute routine from Mary Kate and Ashley or > something like that. Instead, my daughter sang a verse from "I’m Not That > Innocent" by Brittney Spears (or Christina Aguilera?) with the hip motion, arms > crossing the chest motion and butt movement. I just don’t think a five year old > needs to be learning suggestive movements and singing songs like this at her > age. I am pretty honest with my daughter and I told her that the singer is a > person that wears very tight outfits and low shirts and likes to show herself > off. Some people even find her a little offensive for teenagers, as she is > likened to a role model. My daughter accepted this and said she didn’t want to > do that kind of dance then. Have I overreacted? I know this was all done in > innocence but isn’t this a little too young to be exposed to this kind of > sexual innuendo with the singing and dancing. A girl her age, just going into > kindergarten, should be playing Mary Kate and Ashley, and Barbies, not > practicing hip swiveling and butt shaking. Am I wrong? I won’t raise her to > feel like a prude or anxious about her sexuality but I feel some things should > remain age appropriate. If you ask me what I’m going to do when she’s a > teenager: Hopefully by then she will have a solid foundation and will make the > appropriate decisions as to dress, friends, etc. She will understand the > controversy of these songs, etc, as well. But at five years old, I just find it > inappropriate,since she doesn’t even know what’s behind these "dance steps" > even if just for fun. > What are your thoughts? > Thanks, > susan

Response:

No, I don’t think you overreacted. I would have done and said the same things myself. Kids grow up way too fast these days as it is without having these kind of teens as "role models"…I know, she’s only five, but it’s never too early to start instilling values in kids, IMO. Ignore it now and you could end up with a problem later on. Last week I almost fainted when I saw my 11 yr old SD walk in the house wearing a *really* skimpy halter top (one of those tight, tube top things that were popular about 10 yrs ago) that was given to her by her mother (thanks, Mom!) and she had it pulled down low and rolled up on the bottom, so it was just barely covering her. And then she had on a really tight, short skirt. Her dad and I had a talk with her that night about why we think it’s wrong to dress that way at any age, let alone when you’re only THAT age (not even in puberty yet!) I don’t think she was wearing it to be "sexy" or anything, I think it was the influence of a 10 year old friend she has. Since this girl was 7 she’s been dressing and acting like a spice girl, and I get the impression that her mom thinks it’s cute. (who else would be buying her these clothes?) She’s been dressing fine ever since, thankfully. I just hope it stays that way! Tomorrow she goes to stay with her mom for three weeks in another city, so I’m already a bit nervous about some bad habits she may pick up there. ANYWAY, (I digress) while she’s still at the age where you have some say in the way she dresses, the music she listens to, the type of dancing that she does (because she still is at the age where she wants to impress mommy, and values your opinion!) I say that you let her know what you do consider to be appropriate and non-appropriate. That will give her a foundation to grow on. Good luck! — ….Charlene SD Kaitlin (11) BD Danielle (7) BS James (1.5) ??? T.B.A. (Nov/00) http://www.commonwealthhomes.com/heartwarmer/information.htm

Response:

Susan, While I understand your concern, I would also ask yourself if there is HONESTLY any damage from her dancing that way. DS came home from 1st grade doing a little dance where he was smacking his own butt…I laughed at him and told him he was cute and life marched on. Two years later and he is no sexual deviant. Yes, I do think you overreacted. Sarah Mom to Kalen (8) and Victoria (8 months) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Susan, > I agree with you 100%, and IMHO, a five-year-old child doesn’t need to be doing a > Britney Spears impression. :) Also, I think kids today are introduced to so much > more than a lot of people were at their age, but that still doesn’t change the fact > that they are *children* and will imitate what they are exposed to. BTW, I think > you handled the situation with your daughter perfectly, and I don’t think you > overreacted in the least. > –Lisa > Mom to Jacob (10/26/94), Ian (3/6/97) and Emily (8/29/99) > Yesterday my five year old daughter asked me if I wanted to see a new dance she > had learned from her seven year old cousin (a very sweet, innocent child). I > said ok and expected to see some cute routine from Mary Kate and Ashley or > something like that. Instead, my daughter sang a verse from "I’m Not That > Innocent" by Brittney Spears (or Christina Aguilera?) with the hip motion, arms > crossing the chest motion and butt movement. I just don’t think a five year old > needs to be learning suggestive movements and singing songs like this at her > age. I am pretty honest with my daughter and I told her that the singer is a > person that wears very tight outfits and low shirts and likes to show herself > off. Some people even find her a little offensive for teenagers, as she is > likened to a role model. My daughter accepted this and said she didn’t want to > do that kind of dance then. Have I overreacted? I know this was all done in > innocence but isn’t this a little too young to be exposed to this kind of > sexual innuendo with the singing and dancing. A girl her age, just going into > kindergarten, should be playing Mary Kate and Ashley, and Barbies, not > practicing hip swiveling and butt shaking. Am I wrong? I won’t raise her to > feel like a prude or anxious about her sexuality but I feel some things should > remain age appropriate. If you ask me what I’m going to do when she’s a > teenager: Hopefully by then she will have a solid foundation and will make the > appropriate decisions as to dress, friends, etc. She will understand the > controversy of these songs, etc, as well. But at five years old, I just find it > inappropriate,since she doesn’t even know what’s behind these "dance steps" > even if just for fun. > What are your thoughts? > Thanks, > susan

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Yesterday my five year old daughter asked me if I wanted to see a new dance she > had learned from her seven year old cousin (a very sweet, innocent child). I > said ok and expected to see some cute routine from Mary Kate and Ashley or > something like that. Instead, my daughter sang a verse from "I’m Not That > Innocent" by Brittney Spears (or Christina Aguilera?) with the hip motion, arms > crossing the chest motion and butt movement. I just don’t think a five year old > needs to be learning suggestive movements and singing songs like this at her > age. I am pretty honest with my daughter and I told her that the singer is a > person that wears very tight outfits and low shirts and likes to show herself > off. Some people even find her a little offensive for teenagers, as she is > likened to a role model. My daughter accepted this and said she didn’t want to > do that kind of dance then. Have I overreacted? I know this was all done in > innocence but isn’t this a little too young to be exposed to this kind of > sexual innuendo with the singing and dancing. A girl her age, just going into > kindergarten, should be playing Mary Kate and Ashley, and Barbies, not > practicing hip swiveling and butt shaking. Am I wrong? I won’t raise her to > feel like a prude or anxious about her sexuality but I feel some things should > remain age appropriate. If you ask me what I’m going to do when she’s a > teenager: Hopefully by then she will have a solid foundation and will make the > appropriate decisions as to dress, friends, etc. She will understand the > controversy of these songs, etc, as well. But at five years old, I just find it > inappropriate,since she doesn’t even know what’s behind these "dance steps" > even if just for fun. > What are your thoughts? > Thanks, > susan

I’LL SAY that’s an overreaction!! Go the fuck away! Britney Spears is harmless!! She’s considered the next thing to Debbie Gibson these days!! Geez! Steve

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > No, I don’t think you overreacted. I would have done and said the same > things myself. Kids grow up way too fast these days as it is without having > these kind of teens as "role models"…I know, she’s only five, but it’s > never too early to start instilling values in kids, IMO. Ignore it now and > you could end up with a problem later on. > Last week I almost fainted when I saw my 11 yr old SD walk in the house > wearing a *really* skimpy halter top (one of those tight, tube top things > that were popular about 10 yrs ago) that was given to her by her mother > (thanks, Mom!) and she had it pulled down low and rolled up on the bottom, > so it was just barely covering her. And then she had on a really tight, > short skirt. Her dad and I had a talk with her that night about why we think > it’s wrong to dress that way at any age, let alone when you’re only THAT age > (not even in puberty yet!) I don’t think she was wearing it to be "sexy" or > anything, I think it was the influence of a 10 year old friend she has. > Since this girl was 7 she’s been dressing and acting like a spice girl, and > I get the impression that her mom thinks it’s cute. (who else would be > buying her these clothes?) She’s been dressing fine ever since, thankfully. > I just hope it stays that way! Tomorrow she goes to stay with her mom for > three weeks in another city, so I’m already a bit nervous about some bad > habits she may pick up there. > ANYWAY, (I digress) while she’s still at the age where you have some say in > the way she dresses, the music she listens to, the type of dancing that she > does (because she still is at the age where she wants to impress mommy, and > values your opinion!) I say that you let her know what you do consider to be > appropriate and non-appropriate. That will give her a foundation to grow on. > Good luck! > — > ….Charlene

That’s assinine, Charlene. If she had enough to hold it up and was even interested in wearing it then she *IS* in puberty, no matter how you’d like to deny it. The more controlling you are the more you’re about to blow it in a year or two. Perhaps she’s not a real early maturer, but my wife had B cups at age 10 and I was fully developed at 11. And as I recalled kids were covering their resentments and talking about how soon they were gonna get enough guts to shit all over their parents who were antisexually oppressive just as soon as they could. I was amazed. Steve

Response:

We have 5.5 year old b/g twins and my daughter has caught up with some "dancing" too again shown to her by the 7 year old next door! Her father and I talked to her about how we didn’t want her dancing that way for the reason that it gave people the feeling that she was saying it was ok to touch her private area. She was surprised and said too she wasn’t interested it that. I want her to know some things just aren’t appropriate. We also struggle with 2 piece bathing suits (sorry I think she’s too young or too old – they look very cute on 2 year olds and great on 15 year olds but not 5 year olds). I don’t even like them watching Britney or MTV of any kind. We let them listen to the music but think they are way too young for the rest. JMO Shirley – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Yesterday my five year old daughter asked me if I wanted to see a new dance she > had learned from her seven year old cousin (a very sweet, innocent child). I > said ok and expected to see some cute routine from Mary Kate and Ashley or > something like that. Instead, my daughter sang a verse from "I’m Not That > Innocent" by Brittney Spears (or Christina Aguilera?) with the hip motion, arms > crossing the chest motion and butt movement. I just don’t think a five year old > needs to be learning suggestive movements and singing songs like this at her > age. I am pretty honest with my daughter and I told her that the singer is a > person that wears very tight outfits and low shirts and likes to show herself > off. Some people even find her a little offensive for teenagers, as she is > likened to a role model. My daughter accepted this and said she didn’t want to > do that kind of dance then. Have I overreacted? I know this was all done in > innocence but isn’t this a little too young to be exposed to this kind of > sexual innuendo with the singing and dancing. A girl her age, just going into > kindergarten, should be playing Mary Kate and Ashley, and Barbies, not > practicing hip swiveling and butt shaking. Am I wrong? I won’t raise her to > feel like a prude or anxious about her sexuality but I feel some things should > remain age appropriate. If you ask me what I’m going to do when she’s a > teenager: Hopefully by then she will have a solid foundation and will make the > appropriate decisions as to dress, friends, etc. She will understand the > controversy of these songs, etc, as well. But at five years old, I just find it > inappropriate,since she doesn’t even know what’s behind these "dance steps" > even if just for fun. > What are your thoughts? > Thanks, > susan

Response:

Hi Susan, I agree with you 100%, and IMHO, a five-year-old child doesn’t need to be doing a Britney Spears impression. :) Also, I think kids today are introduced to so much more than a lot of people were at their age, but that still doesn’t change the fact that they are *children* and will imitate what they are exposed to. BTW, I think you handled the situation with your daughter perfectly, and I don’t think you overreacted in the least. –Lisa Mom to Jacob (10/26/94), Ian (3/6/97) and Emily (8/29/99) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Yesterday my five year old daughter asked me if I wanted to see a new dance she > had learned from her seven year old cousin (a very sweet, innocent child). I > said ok and expected to see some cute routine from Mary Kate and Ashley or > something like that. Instead, my daughter sang a verse from "I’m Not That > Innocent" by Brittney Spears (or Christina Aguilera?) with the hip motion, arms > crossing the chest motion and butt movement. I just don’t think a five year old > needs to be learning suggestive movements and singing songs like this at her > age. I am pretty honest with my daughter and I told her that the singer is a > person that wears very tight outfits and low shirts and likes to show herself > off. Some people even find her a little offensive for teenagers, as she is > likened to a role model. My daughter accepted this and said she didn’t want to > do that kind of dance then. Have I overreacted? I know this was all done in > innocence but isn’t this a little too young to be exposed to this kind of > sexual innuendo with the singing and dancing. A girl her age, just going into > kindergarten, should be playing Mary Kate and Ashley, and Barbies, not > practicing hip swiveling and butt shaking. Am I wrong? I won’t raise her to > feel like a prude or anxious about her sexuality but I feel some things should > remain age appropriate. If you ask me what I’m going to do when she’s a > teenager: Hopefully by then she will have a solid foundation and will make the > appropriate decisions as to dress, friends, etc. She will understand the > controversy of these songs, etc, as well. But at five years old, I just find it > inappropriate,since she doesn’t even know what’s behind these "dance steps" > even if just for fun. > What are your thoughts? > Thanks, > susan

Response:

Yesterday my five year old daughter asked me if I wanted to see a new dance she had learned from her seven year old cousin (a very sweet, innocent child). I said ok and expected to see some cute routine from Mary Kate and Ashley or something like that. Instead, my daughter sang a verse from "I’m Not That Innocent" by Brittney Spears (or Christina Aguilera?) with the hip motion, arms crossing the chest motion and butt movement. I just don’t think a five year old needs to be learning suggestive movements and singing songs like this at her age. I am pretty honest with my daughter and I told her that the singer is a person that wears very tight outfits and low shirts and likes to show herself off. Some people even find her a little offensive for teenagers, as she is likened to a role model. My daughter accepted this and said she didn’t want to do that kind of dance then. Have I overreacted? I know this was all done in innocence but isn’t this a little too young to be exposed to this kind of sexual innuendo with the singing and dancing. A girl her age, just going into kindergarten, should be playing Mary Kate and Ashley, and Barbies, not practicing hip swiveling and butt shaking. Am I wrong? I won’t raise her to feel like a prude or anxious about her sexuality but I feel some things should remain age appropriate. If you ask me what I’m going to do when she’s a teenager: Hopefully by then she will have a solid foundation and will make the appropriate decisions as to dress, friends, etc. She will understand the controversy of these songs, etc, as well. But at five years old, I just find it inappropriate,since she doesn’t even know what’s behind these "dance steps" even if just for fun. What are your thoughts? Thanks, susan

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