Question:
> So true! If the wedding’s a plane trip away, ppl will usually need a > half-day or a full-day of travel. That day could be Friday or Monday, but > it’s still the same amount of time off from work. The only potential > problem I could see is that ppl s’times have more important work tasks > scheduled for Mondays than Fridays, but w/enough notice, that can be > rearranged.
Trystan, But most peoples’ jobs start early in the morning and go to whenever, leaving them with hours before they would be going to sleep anyway. So, if you have to catch a flight (okay, I’m assuming domestic or at least within 5 hours flight time), you might only lose an hour or two of work on a Friday evening. If you leave to come home on a Monday morning, assuming the same flight time, you would be missing potentially many more hours of work, and your work when you actually get there might hurt since you don’t have the, say, "professional momentum" that you might have on that previous Friday before you left to catch your flight. Therefore, it seems that for the average person who must fly for an event, the two choices being (leave Friday, return Sunday) and (leave Saturday, return Monday), the former allows for maximal time at work and maximal productivity while at work, while the latter takes time away from work and productivity away when at work. Essentially, if you leave on a Friday, you might lose a couple hours of work. If you return on a Monday, you might lose a day. All opinion, but it seems logical, Andy
Response:
Depending on how far people have to travel, for a Saturday wedding they might be able to travel in on Saturday morning and travel back Sunday afternoon. Of course, for my wedding they’re travelling much further so most are coming in Friday night and are leaving Monday at the earliest. I think it really depends how far people will be travelling. — Melissa [The big day is March 18, 2001]
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’ve read comments here and elsewhere saying that it’s considerate of guests > who need to travel to have a wedding on Saturday. It seems to me that people > would have to miss the same amount of work for either a Saturday or Sunday > wedding. Either travel Friday, attend wedding Saturday, and return Sunday, or > shift the whole thing forward one day. Requires a three-day weekend > regardless. > We chose a Sunday afternoon wedding because my current occupation (medical > student) is not very flexible about time off. I get two weeks exactly, so if > we want a honeymoon of more than a few days, the wedding has to be during that > first weekend off. Being seriously addicted to international travel, enough > time for the honeymoon is pretty important to us. > Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if I ought to > be apologetic to the out-of-towners. > Kate > to Jay 8/5/01
Response:
We’re also planning our wedding on a Sunday. Most of our guests live within 4 hours, so for our 1:30-2pm ceremony and 2:30-7:30pm reception, these OOT’s would be able to drive to the wedding and back the same day if they don’t want to pay for a hotel. (Although we have blocked rooms at a nearby hotel, on both Sat & Sun nights, for those less inclined to drive 8 hours in one day). Our few guests from foreign countries would be missing work even if the wedding was on a Saturday, so this can’t really be helped much! My FI’s sister had her wedding on a Sunday. I think hers was much later into the night because I remember my FI & I had to leave quite early… I don’t think we could even stay for dinner (we lived 5 hours away). So, my point is, your guests will probably leave the reception early if they have to. Also, the earlier you have wedding, the fewer OOT’s will need to leave early (but they may be late to the ceremony… as we once were to a wedding we thought was 4 hours away – but with all the road construction it took us 6 hours… Oh no! I’m just realizing I’ve been such a bad bad wedding guest). Hope this eases your conscience a bit, -Sprouty Before you buy.
Response:
> I’ve read comments here and elsewhere saying that it’s considerate of guests > who need to travel to have a wedding on Saturday. It seems to me that people > would have to miss the same amount of work for either a Saturday or Sunday > wedding. Either travel Friday, attend wedding Saturday, and return Sunday, or > shift the whole thing forward one day. Requires a three-day weekend > regardless.
So true! If the wedding’s a plane trip away, ppl will usually need a half-day or a full-day of travel. That day could be Friday or Monday, but it’s still the same amount of time off from work. The only potential problem I could see is that ppl s’times have more important work tasks scheduled for Mondays than Fridays, but w/enough notice, that can be rearranged. We had a Sunday afternoon wedding, w/no complaints from guests. Some of our mostly out-of-town wedding party did have to take an additional day off to be there for the rehearsal on Saturday tho (traveling on Friday & Monday). But everyone enjoyed being there early anyways. > Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if I ought to > be apologetic to the out-of-towners.
No need at all to apologize. You might send save-the-date cards/letters to ppl in advance of the invitations so they know when it is. Or just call ppl & let them know. As long as guests have enough advance notice, they can figure out their travel plans. –T. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a.g.f.faq.chick gothic martha stewart
Response:
We picked a Saturday to accomodate out of town guests, but only in the sense that our first choice for a date falls on a Friday in 2001. We have many people coming from a long distance; we know they wouldn’t be able to make it for a Friday evening in September, and it was very important to us that they be there.. so we’re having the wedding on Saturday. Some of them may still not be able to make it, and one of my aunts went as far as telling me that and hinting that we should have a summer-time wedding (she’s a teacher) at my sister’s wedding this past June. I do hope they are able to make it to our wedding, but if they can’t, they can’t – I’m not going to apologize to them for getting married on a date that is significant to DF and I. As for the difference between a Saturday and a Sunday – I don’t think it’s a big deal. I know that if I have to travel to a wedding, I often plan to take an extra day or two off to make it into a "mini vacation" if I possibly can. Paula (to James 9/29/01) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’ve read comments here and elsewhere saying that it’s considerate of guests > who need to travel to have a wedding on Saturday. It seems to me that people > would have to miss the same amount of work for either a Saturday or Sunday > wedding. Either travel Friday, attend wedding Saturday, and return Sunday, or > shift the whole thing forward one day. Requires a three-day weekend > regardless. > We chose a Sunday afternoon wedding because my current occupation (medical > student) is not very flexible about time off. I get two weeks exactly, so if > we want a honeymoon of more than a few days, the wedding has to be during that > first weekend off. Being seriously addicted to international travel, enough > time for the honeymoon is pretty important to us. > Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if I ought to > be apologetic to the out-of-towners. > Kate > to Jay 8/5/01
Before you buy.
Response:
>My personal loathing (though many disagree with me) is for the "holiday >weekend" wedding supposedly held to accommodate distant guests. Since >popular holidays are black-out dates for cheap airfares, these weddings >are *more* expensive for those of us who must fly. Plus there’s pressure >to hang around an extra day whether one wants to or not. These "wedding >weekends" are great for the bride and groom — who deserve some fun — >but I resent having them billed as a favor to me, the guest, when >they’re much more inconvenient than a normal weekend wedding.
I think this is one of those issues that really depends heavily on the individual wedding and guest list. We (looking around sheepishly) had a holiday weekend wedding, and I honestly do think that for our guests, this was the most convenient way to go. Then again, airfares weren’t really an issue for us, as all but 2 of our out-of-town guests were within driving distance .. and it was important that most people not need to miss work to attend, as we and many of our guests were recent college graduates at the time, and vacation time was at a premium. Bottom line is, as has been said before, you can’t please everyone. Obviously, the HC should consider what’s most convenient for their guests, and do their best to minimize inconvenience/ make it easy and enjoyable for them to attend … but unfortunately, you can’t always accommodate everyone. -HB
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’ve read comments here and elsewhere saying that it’s considerate of >guests > who need to travel to have a wedding on Saturday. It seems to me that >people > would have to miss the same amount of work for either a Saturday or >Sunday > wedding. Either travel Friday, attend wedding Saturday, and return >Sunday, or > shift the whole thing forward one day. Requires a three-day weekend > regardless. > We chose a Sunday afternoon wedding because my current occupation >(medical > student) is not very flexible about time off. I get two weeks >exactly, so if > we want a honeymoon of more than a few days, the wedding has to be >during that > first weekend off. Being seriously addicted to international travel, >enough > time for the honeymoon is pretty important to us. > Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if I >ought to > be apologetic to the out-of-towners. >You do not have to be apologetic to out-of-towners, as they chose to >take the trouble to attend. >I think the theory with Saturday weddings is that people can travel down >late Friday night or early Saturday morning — but you’re right, it >NEVER works that way. And practicing Jewish couples with far-flung >friends (who can’t possibly get married Saturday afternoon) manage to >hold well-attended weddings. >What I *really* think has happened is that, as formal weddings became >more common among people who hold jobs (rather than just among the >wealthy classes), weekday weddings became nigh unto impossible to >manage. And most Christian denominations prefer Saturday weddings over >Sunday ones, for reasons that range from theology to simple logistics. >And so was born the Saturday wedding! >My personal loathing (though many disagree with me) is for the "holiday >weekend" wedding supposedly held to accommodate distant guests. Since >popular holidays are black-out dates for cheap airfares, these weddings >are *more* expensive for those of us who must fly. Plus there’s pressure >to hang around an extra day whether one wants to or not. These "wedding >weekends" are great for the bride and groom — who deserve some fun — >but I resent having them billed as a favor to me, the guest, when >they’re much more inconvenient than a normal weekend wedding. >Wende >Before you buy.
Response:
>I’ve read comments here and elsewhere saying that it’s considerate of guests >who need to travel to have a wedding on Saturday. It seems to me that people >would have to miss the same amount of work for either a Saturday or Sunday >wedding. Either travel Friday, attend wedding Saturday, and return Sunday, or >shift the whole thing forward one day. Requires a three-day weekend >regardless. >We chose a Sunday afternoon wedding (snip) >Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if I ought to >be apologetic to the out-of-towners.
Be apologetic? What on earth for? You select the date and invite guests. Your guests are the only ones who can determine if the day of the week is a problem. Granted, it would be unusual to have a large lavish wedding in the middle of the week since a great many people work and might find it difficult to make a trip (if one is required). But the choice of day is yours and yours alone. Why people like Saturdays for weddings is because, again, a great many people work Monday-Friday. They can travel Friday night, attend the wedding on Saturday, and travel back on Sunday and not miss any work or affect kids in school. If the wedding is on a Sunday afternoon, and guests want to return home on Sunday, that may put some in a time crunch. Regardless, if Sunday works best for you, then so be it. And since Sunday afternoon weddings are just slightly off the beaten track, I recommend sending invitations 6-8 weeks in advance so as to allow guests ample time to make whatever arrangements necessary. Hope this helps, Noe
Response:
I always thought that Christians had weddings on Saturday because the churches already in use on Sunday. Jewish weddings tend to be on Saturday night or Sunday because Sabbath restrictions for Saturday mornings/afternoons. If you have it worked out for Sunday afternoon and all the necessary players can make it, then that’s fine. If Sunday afternoon is a hassle for people then they won’t come. But I don’t think you have to apologize to anyone. KM – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’ve read comments here and elsewhere saying that it’s considerate of guests > who need to travel to have a wedding on Saturday. It seems to me that people > would have to miss the same amount of work for either a Saturday or Sunday > wedding. Either travel Friday, attend wedding Saturday, and return Sunday, or > shift the whole thing forward one day. Requires a three-day weekend > regardless. > We chose a Sunday afternoon wedding because my current occupation (medical > student) is not very flexible about time off. I get two weeks exactly, so if > we want a honeymoon of more than a few days, the wedding has to be during that > first weekend off. Being seriously addicted to international travel, enough > time for the honeymoon is pretty important to us. > Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if I ought to > be apologetic to the out-of-towners. > Kate > to Jay 8/5/01
Before you buy.
Response:
> We chose a Sunday afternoon wedding because my current occupation (medical > student) is not very flexible about time off. I get two weeks exactly, so if > we want a honeymoon of more than a few days, the wedding has to be during that > first weekend off. Being seriously addicted to international travel, enough > time for the honeymoon is pretty important to us.
We’re getting married on a Sunday as well. I know a few other girls who did, too. Don’t apologize. There’s no need. I think it’s nice that folks can sleep in a little on Saturday and travel to our rehearsal dinner. Or just have Saturday to relax, get ready, what have you. I know I like the schedule! — Nancy & Ross 12.17.00 http://clik.to/nancyandross
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’ve read comments here and elsewhere saying that it’s considerate of guests > who need to travel to have a wedding on Saturday. It seems to me that people > would have to miss the same amount of work for either a Saturday or Sunday > wedding. Either travel Friday, attend wedding Saturday, and return Sunday, or > shift the whole thing forward one day. Requires a three-day weekend > regardless. > We chose a Sunday afternoon wedding because my current occupation (medical > student) is not very flexible about time off. I get two weeks exactly, so if > we want a honeymoon of more than a few days, the wedding has to be during that > first weekend off. Being seriously addicted to international travel, enough > time for the honeymoon is pretty important to us. > Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if I ought to > be apologetic to the out-of-towners.
You do not have to be apologetic to out-of-towners, as they chose to take the trouble to attend. I think the theory with Saturday weddings is that people can travel down late Friday night or early Saturday morning — but you’re right, it NEVER works that way. And practicing Jewish couples with far-flung friends (who can’t possibly get married Saturday afternoon) manage to hold well-attended weddings. What I *really* think has happened is that, as formal weddings became more common among people who hold jobs (rather than just among the wealthy classes), weekday weddings became nigh unto impossible to manage. And most Christian denominations prefer Saturday weddings over Sunday ones, for reasons that range from theology to simple logistics. And so was born the Saturday wedding! My personal loathing (though many disagree with me) is for the "holiday weekend" wedding supposedly held to accommodate distant guests. Since popular holidays are black-out dates for cheap airfares, these weddings are *more* expensive for those of us who must fly. Plus there’s pressure to hang around an extra day whether one wants to or not. These "wedding weekends" are great for the bride and groom — who deserve some fun — but I resent having them billed as a favor to me, the guest, when they’re much more inconvenient than a normal weekend wedding. Wende Before you buy.
Response:
I’ve read comments here and elsewhere saying that it’s considerate of guests who need to travel to have a wedding on Saturday. It seems to me that people would have to miss the same amount of work for either a Saturday or Sunday wedding. Either travel Friday, attend wedding Saturday, and return Sunday, or shift the whole thing forward one day. Requires a three-day weekend regardless. We chose a Sunday afternoon wedding because my current occupation (medical student) is not very flexible about time off. I get two weeks exactly, so if we want a honeymoon of more than a few days, the wedding has to be during that first weekend off. Being seriously addicted to international travel, enough time for the honeymoon is pretty important to us. Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if I ought to be apologetic to the out-of-towners. Kate to Jay 8/5/01
Response:
> Though we can’t change the date at this point, I’m just wondering if > I ought to be apologetic to the out-of-towners.
I don’t think there’s any need to be apologetic … you chose the date that was best for you and if it is a problem for people to come, they won’t. If they do chose to come, you shouldn’t apologize for what was, essentially, their choice. And remember that in the Jewish faith you can’t have a wedding on a Saturday before sundown (Saturday is the Sabbath), so many Jewish weddings are held on Sunday. Just to answer the question in your subject line, tho, I can think of three reasons off the top of my head that Saturdays are more popular for Christian or secular weddings: (1) In many Christian churches they won’t hold weddings on a Sunday (see above for the Jewish corollary). If they will, it’s nearly impossible to schedule the actual church building around the usual Sunday services and activities. (2) Travel for the weekend often requires less time away from work if one can leave at noon on Friday, for example and return on Sunday afternoon, having Sunday night to prepare for work. Whereas if someone travels on Monday morning he or she either has to go straight to work from travelling (yuck) or has to take the whole of Monday off. (3) It’s easier to take Friday off (or part of Friday off) than it is to take Monday off (in most cases) as Monday is often the "meeting" day or the "planning" day for a lot of business. Just what struck me off the top of my head. Karen
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